At Life Group yesterday, I was able to bask in the feelings of refreshment that I have been receiving over the past few weeks in a couple of areas in my life. Thanks to the prayers of this select group of friends, God heard my cries of bitterness, depression, and hurt, and I now feel spiritually full and whole. I am no longer carrying that burden. I have regained His arsenal so I can call His name again to those who need it the most. I am renewed and complete.
Forget my medical scrubs. I have finally been equipped with the whole armor of God.
Praise Him whose name is Yahweh, the breath of life!
Thank you, Lord, for speaking through me to patients, families, coworkers, and... surprisingly... even physicians! There's no describing how great I feel when I hear from my coworker friends that those I have been caring for and their families are telling them how good I have been doing in helping their loved ones. I hear the encouragement of God in all of those words. He's keeping me going, helping me tell them that He is the one at work here. The only thing that I am doing is using and playing the instruments.
And physicians, Lord? Really? I think you are trying to teach me something here. I was under the impression that they already had a humungous share of busy-ness on their plates. To hear "You do well with ten patients" and "Mrs. No Name had many great things to say about you" blows my mind, coming from people who I thought didn't have a minute to spare. I'm humbled. I think I judged them too quickly and I need to give them more breathing room.
One friend who is very dear to my heart told me that, "You know, it's great hearing all these things from your life. You're like the Jessica that I met seven years ago." At first, I thought "Well, what in the heck have I been doing with my life the past seven years!?!" and had a mild panic episode. Then, I remembered what I was doing. I was trying to find His path. I was learning to hear His voice. I was learning to love God.
Seven years well spent, shaping who I am today. I'm more than OK with that.
As the warming rays of summer have past, so has my season of grief. I'll be prepared when the next one comes, but for now, I will enjoy the crisp, refreshing air of fall--the beginning of a clearer and cooler way of thinking.