Man! My brain. I just don't know anymore. And forget me just posting regularly. Apparently, that's not my thing.
What is wrong with my brain? Maybe I don't release enough creative streaks when I'm awake. Maybe it is the sleeping during the day routine that is turning everything upside down and inside out. Here are two dreams that are so bizarre that I had to write them somewhere so I can laugh when I read it 10 years down the road.
Star Trek, Family Edition: The Never-ending Frontier
I start this dream by waking up in a department store. Luckily, Sabrina the Wal-mart Witch (see previous post) is not the star of this fiasco. I am, so somehow, I have some control of this environment of random events. When I wake up, I am aware that I am not wearing underwear. As my high school Latin teacher would say, "Semper ubi sub ubi"-- "Always wear underwear." I am wearing clothes, however. Just no underwear.
I somehow know that my underwear is somewhere in the department store, and I have to find it. For what seems like hours, I search and search until I find my underwear carelessly thrown over one of the clothing racks. After I put on my underwear, these two guys show up and taunt me about not wearing underwear. I am also aware of the fact that they are not wearing underwear either, and they have not been able to find it in days, so I taunt them back. In the midst of all of the taunting, my piano teacher, Ms. Annette, pops out of nowhere and says, "It's time for your piano lesson! Today, you will be doing a duet with this guy," and she points at one of the taunters. A full-length keyboard pops out of the wall with a music piece sitting on the mantle. Before both of us sit down on the bench, I glance at the wall mirror above the piano. I am fascinated by the fact that a piece of my skull is missing on my forehead, and I can see my brain. Apparently, I have a head injury.
My reverie is broken by Ms. Annette saying, "I only have the middle section of this music, so you both will create the beginning and end together as you are playing." This seems like an incredibly easy task to both of us, even though we had the hardest time finding our underwear. We play the piece together perfectly and in it's entirety. Once we are finished, I am beamed back up to my spaceship.
Several things happened when I was being beamed up. My head is repaired, and now I can remember why I was in the department store in the first place. My spaceship had crash-landed on a hostile alien planet several days ago, and during one exploration mission, I was captured by the natives, who look just like humans. During the struggle, I suffered a head injury, but I was deemed healthy enough to live and be placed in an experiment where all of the participants had to find their underwear in the vast store. Unfortunately, my underwear has a tracking device so my crew can find me, but since I didn't have them on... well, I had just been lost for weeks. When I put my underwear on, my tracking device reactivated, and they found me and beamed me back to the spaceship.
Well, no wonder we had been stuck on this evil planet for forever! I look at my crew, and it consists of my grandmother (Mammaw), my brothers (Bill and Mike), and my cousin (Tesse). And I'm captain. Hopeless.
While my hopeless yet awesome crew is getting ready for takeoff, I go down to the basement of our spaceship, which looks exactly like Mammaw's house on the inside. In the basement, I begin talking to our favorite allies, the intelligent and invincible colony of mice that have made our spaceship their home. We can't get rid of them, because they are the descendants of all those lab mice that have had all those experiments performed on them. They eventually acquired perfect immunity to everything, so nothing kills them. They are friendly, however, so we don't mind having them in our basement. While I'm down there, the ship begins to take off. "Bye guys! Wish us luck!" I say as I run up the stairs toward my captain's chair.
I strap myself in, and we take off. Within a few seconds, we reach the boundary between the atmosphere of the planet and space. "Yes! It worked this time!" I exclaim, but too soon. The ship begins to fall, and we crash land in the middle of a hostile alien metropolis.
"Jarvis, why did we crash?" I ask. Jarvis is the computer system for our spaceship, and yes, it's the same Jarvis that Ironman created. And Jarvis responds with the same voice that he has in the Ironman movies:
"I could not find a portal, and the twilight was not the right shade of lavender."
I pretend to understand what he means, and just move on with the next order of business. Apparently, every time we fail to get off this awful planet and crash, Jarvis must take a day to repair the ship. The way he repairs the ship is lethal to humans, so he teleports us to a random location on the hostile alien planet to fend for ourselves until the ship is in working order. This is how I got captured last time.
Jarvis teleports us to the center square of a small and seemingly quiet alien town. We look around for a few seconds, and decide that this was a good choice. It seems safe. Then, our dreams are shattered as a giant tank enters the town square. It attacks the local Chuck E. Cheese, and then barricades it, readying for battle. We decide that we don't want to be in the middle of whatever is going to happen, so we try to break in to the local post office. Tesse transforms herself into the one-year-old version of herself, and climbs through the mail slot to unlock the door. While she is doing this, Mike teleports himself inside. (I don't know where Billy is... I think he got captured.) Mammaw and I are like, "What are you waiting for? Get us inside???"
While he is struggling to unlock the door (and yes, he can teleport but can't unlock a door), two buff human-like aliens leave the Chuck E. Cheese and try to capture Mammaw and me. Mammaw pulls out a rope and hog-ties her alien within seconds. I, of course, struggle with my attacker. When I have him tied up, Mammaw and I drag them into the post office, and then the dream ends.
What a cliffhanger.
And now, the next dream. This one is less detailed.
A Girl Among Lost Boys
The dream starts with me constantly running around with purpose. Wherever I am, I am not supposed to be there, because it is after hours and all of the lights are off. It seems to be some kind of building. There are several lasers, but I know that if I keep moving, they will not set off the alarm. Movement is key.
After several minutes of running down hallways, up and down stairs, and entering and exiting elevators, the dream changes. I am now in a vast apartment complex. I live there, but I can't find my room. I get on the wrong elevator, and I end up in a deserted part of the complex. I am suspicious. It's like in "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" where Harry, Ron, and Hermione accidentally end up on the third floor. Somebody's watching me.
The dream changes. Whoever was watching me has convinced me to rejoin high school, except it's like a Japanese anime. I have a cool uniform on, and the school is more like a mansion. I have a quick discussion with the principal why I should not take Economics 101. My classes consist of karate, reading, ballet, and raquetball. Awesome! I spend an entire day in these classes, even though ballet was really awful.
The dream changes. I am now outside of the apartment complex in which I was lost before. I'm running again. A group of boys find me and tell me to join them. I'm lost, and I, for some reason, trust them. We reach their hideout place in the apartment complex, which is just one of the apartments. They all take showers and change, and head to the basement of the apartment. I take a shower, change, and follow them to the basement. Somehow, I become valuable to them because I know how to flush a toilet.
The basement becomes a beach. We frolic around in the water in beautiful dresses. Me and the girls, that is. I don't know where the boys went.
I am happy because I am at the beach. The end!